It sure is going to be a crazy 2 weeks here in the Valley as rock legends take the stage for Desert Trip. It will be interesting to see how the local media treats the spectacle. There have already been a few signs and they are not promising. Fawning coverage fueled by a need to be "hip" may equal a toxic, non-crafted brew. With past as prologue, here may be a few things you may be reading in upcoming days complete with helpful translations.
Statement: They may not be young, but they still know how to rock.
Translation: Old people dancing is just frightening.
Statement: It's just like when I was at Woodstock.
Translation: If your 19 year old self could garner access to a time machine. it would show up in 2016 just to beat you up.
Statement: Famed LA Designer/Chef/DJ/Hairstylist Oogie Boogie spotted in the crowd.
Translation: No one except those who watch Bravo at 430 in the morning has the foggiest notion who Oogie Boogie is.
Statement: The following celebrities were seen at Desert Trip..
Translation: I thought fill-in-the-blank was dead.
Statement: The Riverside County Coroner's Office is continuing to investigate but a heart attack is suspected.
Translation: All in all, Bob is now just another urn in the wall.
Statement: You would think at his/her age they would have known better.
Translation: Acid and being 70 don't really go hand in hand.
Statement: The crowd was hip and not the replacement kind.
Translation: Can't I turn a phrase?
Statement: Can't wait till next year!!
Translation: I wish Forest Lawn would stop sending me those mailers.
Steve Kelly can be reached at svericker12@gmail.com or followed on Twitter @skellynj
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